I Fucking Love You

"I Fucking Love You"
by Lee Materazzi

“Everyone knows that if you paint a human being entirely with house paint (she) will live, as long as you don’t paint the bottom of (her) feet.” – Miranda July, “No One Belongs Here More Than You”

I fucking love you.

To let you know,
I will balance everything from before,
and everything that is now between my legs.

Jugs of paint drip onto my thighs,
from the eight orifices of finger paint
in my crotch.

The walls and floor become messy.
I don’t worry about cleaning them up yet.

Instead I think about the materials
soaking into my skin,
the history imbued in them,
and what they signify to me.

Are certain mediums still attached to gender?
Are certain genders still attached to power?

I put on a fresh coat of paint
so many times that it buckles and cracks the space around me,
exposing each and every gesture.

Layers of layers.

To be submissive.
Tied down.

To be held up
I tape myself to the wall,
bend over backwards,
between a chair,
as I straighten a crooked frame,
to be at liberty to place myself.

This series has been made in part with my children.
In some ways they are absent in the works.
In some ways they are present in everything I do and represent.

They made art out of my face
with permanent marker.
I want their impressions to last.

Animal stickers and masking tape help me to hold my place.
Hundreds of eyes cling to my back and keep watch.
I become decorated, celebrated, sparkly, mutilated, and destroyed.

They put rainbows in my eyes.